Monday, October 01, 2007

Today is the 1st of Oct 07



1st day of a very significant month to me...

haha.. a sigficant few know why!! keke!



haiz.. giggling and smiling always remind me that i have lost that someone i can share it with..

I didn't even loose it.. i dropped it.. haiz! sounds mean? ya.. sure it does..



Remember the series.. Zena ( or was it Xena?) the warrior princess?

She had a bestie she loved with all her heart.. Gabriel. There was this episode where

Gabriel was having a child.. the child of the devil himself or sth to that extend.

Obviously Xena was to destroy it..Gabriel like any other mother to her child went all out to protect it.. the baby was so cute and innocent with the blue eyes.. like how eveil could it get?!

Xena was caught.. one hand she loves her bestie and understands that the baby is very impt to her... other hand.. she had to do wat she had to do...



See i am stuck in such a situation.. the right thing to do.. and the emotional setbacks..

Well.. how many times am i to repeat this..



Back to October!

I've been trying to follow my rev TT relegiously... but i wandered off a little yesterday.. I got distracted...



see jacky has been unwell. He's been visiting the bathroom like quite often.. and there were very visible traces of blood in this urine... so poor thing.. we kind of suspect that he either has UTI, ate something dumb, or rammed himself against god knows where and got an internal injury..

Haiz... i really hope it's nothing serious... This huggable creature has been my only solace in many ways... and about the only thing that makes me forget what i really am going thru when i hug him... a very commonly used phrase... but i mean it... he's one of the best things that happened to my life...



Back to studying... Looks like keeping to TT will be a little challenging but not impossible. As long as i get to come home immediately after work... which doesnt happen sometimes... then on those days i have to stay up...



Office people have been easy on me... but i can see it's all about tolerence .. not sympathy..

A good no. got promoted.. and i didnt.. solely cos i am new... or so they say.. but they have no reason to give me one either.. i think that is the truth. I feel my performence is low generally at work... i am not sure if my work is demanding, just fine or easy ... I haven't had enough experience to judge that.. i do know that i am being underpaid though.. my bosses know that too.. they openly speak of it even. They claim they ensure growth... but for me... its the flexibility that keeps me here... Frankly speaking, i don't see this place as a long term thingy. Who cares about growth? I can get that from other places too! It's the $$ that matters doesnt it? Growth is not just promotions and exposure, its the standard of living too... and for that we need more $$. However, I have no particular plans.. now that my sense of direction has been shattered thanks to you know wat..


Home.. is squeezy... haha! but cozy.. since i feel rather jaded most of the times... i tend to either just laze or move it and finish my agenda for the day... thats all.. One thing though.. It really feels good to be home.. feels good to have someone to talk to at home.. someone who is very close to you at heart and also situation wise.. someone god sent to us.. as my friend and as my anni.. Just her presence and her giggles, her calling out for my name with oh so gentle and sweet voice, and many other things about her... makes my day.. not to mentioned the fantastic food she makes.. sometimes i feel i might be taking advantage of her.. i should work on that.. It just feels super good to have her around ... but some day life will go on.. and she'll be too bz for me haha! haiz.. then i'll b on my own agn.. sad isnt it.. at least it'll b sometime b4 that some day turns up.. maybe i shouldnt care... i should just probably bug her! keke!



School is all about my exam TT at the moment! OMG! haiz.. i want to score.. but i think that is near impossible now...

Beyond all that i have typed until now.. I just realised that this about the worst thing that has ever happened to me... and i still feel steady.. so many little things have happened to me before and they felt like a tragedies ... but this? I feel proud... but wierd..

Maybe like my mom say's God has other plans for me.. and part of it is to let me catch up with MY life...

Then again in due time... i know i'll be facing the real challenges... be it my social life, school, work, my parents.. etc. Somethings have a very high possibility of getting back to square one... and those somethings... may not be to my liking? *shakes the head*

Still... some corner of my head goes.. It ain't over 'til the fat lady sings!

BUT!! You know something? I am a very blessed person..

:)

It's My say

Henceforth, i make a promise..

To respect myself
To know my worth
To treasure my integrity
To choose my faith
To never be deterred by emotions
To never stumble in the name of love
To never question hardship
To never ever entrust my heart
Upon one who knows not it's worth

The One & ONLI

quoted...

Pets.. sweet, lovable, rainbow, sincere, friend, cute, unique

Peeves ..quick tempered, hard thinker, soft hearted, emo queen, mad, ando, soda

Well of WORDS

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