Wednesday, October 17, 2007

i feel very lousy..

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Like just never good enough...
A step lousier compared to any particular person for that mattter..
Be it my work , my studies, my life, they way i handle things, the way i talk, the way i look, EVERYTHING...

I admit.. this is not my best..
but hell.. i am tired.. phsically, mentally, emotionally..

I take the extra step to keep myself on track with work and school..
frankly speaking.. i can't remember a single thing i studied.. why the hell did i stay up for?
As for work.. I am damn well making an improvement .. but it is not good enough..
Am i not human.. I make mistakes! but jolly well learn..

i have a lead.. who does not practice wat she expects out of me herself...
and is totally inconsistent with the way she manages me..
Hell.. i am better than her when she did this work..
I dont see any point in OTing at all.. why should i?
when i say OT ... its wat they want.. till like 10 11 at night!
that ridiculous... I am underpaid.. i see no reason to work my butt out for this..
For the same effort i can earn loads! i dont plan to be a fool..

Yes yes.. i had an episode with the lead today..
and she has summoned for my big boss to come down and "talk" to me..
what can they do? fry me? bloody hell.. i am leaving.. for a better pay.. and the same work load... maybe even less.. they can find some other well-pitied-by-me ilichavaayan/vaayi whom they deem as better off than me.
Period.

Nah... this doesnt boost me a single bit... i still feel lousy..
Bhaz! i need sth to make me feel good abt myself ...
no no... spending on myself wont work...

Ok maybe i should continue to try my best..
I was promised better times... by myself haha! i think it'll take time eh?

What's joy without the struggle? Ok ok.. i'll try harder...
I'm going to super concentrate today and study super long!
I must must must... SCORE!! to hell with the job.. but i must SCORE!

Yes.. my priority is studies...

i blogged @
4:46 PM

It's My say

Henceforth, i make a promise..

To respect myself
To know my worth
To treasure my integrity
To choose my faith
To never be deterred by emotions
To never stumble in the name of love
To never question hardship
To never ever entrust my heart
Upon one who knows not it's worth

The One & ONLI

quoted...

Pets.. sweet, lovable, rainbow, sincere, friend, cute, unique

Peeves ..quick tempered, hard thinker, soft hearted, emo queen, mad, ando, soda

Well of WORDS

EXITS

Me cHiThU Ni
Me BrO
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