Thursday, June 21, 2007

my poor blog has been devoid of my attention lately...
so much so that i didn't realise that it lost it's look thanks to the irresponsibility of the blog skin creator...
and i left things hanging up in the air w/o even noticing it... for the last blog post was supposedly awaiting my results... i owe an apology and a few repairs and maintenance...

As for my results... it turned out pretty much like keerthu's case which i quoted in my last post... i didnt failed but neither did i get grand great or good grades ... it was just abt the bare minimum that i deem as acceptable...

Co. Law Pass 50% (soooo chun chun!!)
CMA Credit 65%
FA Credit 61%

I guess u get me drift now..

Another surprising thing was... my parents actually congradulated me for my grades... ppl who know me long enuff will understand me shock.. took a few pinches is the midst of my conversations with them to trust that its for real.. i couldnt help laughing at the thought of it... seemed like a joke.. still does..

well... i have my own expectations... really this is by far not good enough for me.. actually i am confused if i should revise my expectations... I am having a stable job not like being invloved in a dark messy ancient office...; i know how life is going to be like during the sch days so i will be more prepared for the rushy lifesytle than i was b4 the 1st sem...most importantly i am more stable within... so i should try harder right? but then again for the reasons stated by my bro and parents.. maybe i should go easy on it... generel rule is.. i should try my level best...

I did try my best the last sem... or so i think... but i know i can be better than that in the coming sem... so was that actually my best... actually i dont think i've ever seen my best... so let alone knowing wat's my best..

Life is getting easier now on the hind side... i am more sure of myself, my new lifestyle.. i wouldnt say all uncertainties that i've faced up till now have been totally annihiated ... i've got a long long way to go to reach that... see ! At least i know that!

Ok i think i am off tracking... well as u can see... that wait and see phase passed by w/o much struggle... the next is to lead the same life with higher order time management... yes.. that is THE KEY...

actually its simple... it all balls down to .. don't be doing sth that'll get yourself regretting any time after "that" time has passed... be it a minute later or years later... of cos this only applies to ppl who dare to be sincere right down to their bones... er.. thats another story by itself, aint it?

something tells me that i wouldnt have gone thru half the nonsense i went thru if only i realsied this at an earlier stage.. WELL! better later than nvr though...


so the next 25%... HERE I COME!!

Monday, June 04, 2007

It's been long i know... Didn't have much to write... even if i did.. I'll bore ya to death.. basically so far it was work; MRT; husby; family; food; sleep; etc... there was an event or two... but really not meant to be written here... rather at heart... besides this is not my journal.. its something else... i have no idea wat to call it... i think i mentioned it the realm of thoughts somewhere in this page... oh well maybe i wavered here and there... but not a journal for sure.. that's all i know.

So why am i finally hitting the keys for this now? Well... me last post was about my co. law paper... ... though the past 1.5 months have served as a very good break from the "on ya toes all day" life... especially keeping up to school that makes you feel like an amateur marathon runner ... i actually had the time to indulge in fun; joy and tears... a good way to run away from the thought of my results... but with a smirk on the face it was lurking ard me where ever i went... basically, had it the last laff cos no matter wat, i am gg to face it some day... and that day is coming in two days..

My thought: to hide till no one bothers to know ... take a peek... then decide wat to do... either run and hide for eternity or pray for a time stand still ... i don't know... i cant seem to imagine anything positive at this point in time...

Irony: I know damn well i worked hard (maybe not enough) ... but i also know i screwed up more than i can afford to bear...

Feelings: Scared and ashamed of being scared but scared wins

Keerthu was damn scared of her results... she thought she might flunk a paper or two.. and score colourfully in the others...
Turned out that neither did she fail any nor did she score in any..

So wats in store for me? ( i dare not say " we shall wait and see...")

It's My say

Henceforth, i make a promise..

To respect myself
To know my worth
To treasure my integrity
To choose my faith
To never be deterred by emotions
To never stumble in the name of love
To never question hardship
To never ever entrust my heart
Upon one who knows not it's worth

The One & ONLI

quoted...

Pets.. sweet, lovable, rainbow, sincere, friend, cute, unique

Peeves ..quick tempered, hard thinker, soft hearted, emo queen, mad, ando, soda

Well of WORDS

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